Open Enrollment

Open Enrollment™ Unisex T-Shirt
"Now accepting applications. And scandals."

Introducing the only piece of apparel brave enough to capture one man, one HR girlfriend, and one Coldplay lead singer’s silent judgment... all on one beautifully awkward canvas.

Inspired by the workplace romance that broke the internet (and probably a few internal policies), this shirt is a wearable HR violation. Featuring ethically questionable vibes (ethically made shirt though, maybe), this unisex masterpiece is your one-way ticket to human resources hell.

Slip it on. Feel the passive aggression. Wear it to the office… or don’t, unless you’re Andy.

Features:

• One-piece knit construction: No separation. Just like love, ethics, and quarterly reviews

• Highly elastic ribbed collar: More stretch than the explanation he gave in that Slack thread

• Reinforced shoulder tape: Holds it together longer than Andy’s exit interview

• Premium print-ready fabric: Because every awkward workplace triangle deserves high-res regret

• Made in the USA: Unlike his relationship. That was made in HR

Perfect for:

• Holiday parties where the drama’s better than the dip

• Office gift exchanges with zero supervision

• Coldplay concerts, aisle seats only

• Anyone who’s ever clicked “I agree” without reading the policy

Care Instructions:
Machine wash cold, dry low, and never let HR see it. Seriously. They’re watching now

Open Enrollment™: Not just a shirt. It’s a policy loophole in cotton form

Tag responsibly. Wear recklessly.